chuck klosterman

I have been reading a lot from the author Chuck Klosterman lately. He was a senior writer for Spin and regularly contributes as a featured columnist to Esquire and has written for GQ, The New York Times Magazine, The Believer, and The Washington Post. And he has published a few books as well. I read his book, "Killing Yourself to Live" a while ago and just wanted to share something from it...


"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real--but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."


I just never thought about the people in my life like this until reading what he wrote. I can think of 2 people immediately that mean the world to me, and who I will never forget for the impact they had in defining what love is like for me. They taught me so much and I will be forever thankful or them.

-will